Like most fathers, I enjoy Father's Day. It's one of the rare days of the year that everyone in the family tries especially hard to be nice to me. And some years, all the children work extra hard to be nice to each other and not fuss and bicker as children are prone to do. That is the nicest Father's Day gift of all.

Speaking of gifts, why in our society is it considered wrong, if not downright rude, to buy women "practical" gifts, but perfectly acceptable, even desirable, to buy men screwdrivers and hammers? Ever notice the ads that come out just before Mother's Day? Compare them to the ones that come out before Father's Day. You'd think men and women were different species.

I admit I once bought my mother a steam iron for Mother's Day, but I have the excuse of having only been 10 at the time. Ever since I reached adulthood, I have been told by television, by magazines and newspapers and by well meaning friends and loved ones that the only proper gifts for women are frivolous ones, such as flowers, candy and jewelry, not necessarily in that order.

Clothing may be acceptable, as long as it's something unnecessary. For example, silk lingerie would be acceptable, but a flannel nightgown would not. NEVER is an electric mixer or a steam iron, let alone a hammer, an appropriate gift for a woman. Lawn mowers, even expensive riding mowers, are taboo, as are washing machines and chain saws. In fact, the only machine that is deemed acceptable as a gift for a woman is a new car, preferably a convertible because it's less practical.

Maybe it's because men are seen as "sensible" while women are "sensitive". I personally think all of this is nonsense. I've known sensible women and sensitive men and some that were neither. I've even met one or two that were both. And I'm sure there are women who would love a new lawn mower for an anniversary gift, just as there are plenty of men who appreciate chocolate. However, I would have to advise my son to err on the side of caution and not bring his bride a jackhammer for her birthday.

I'm not really into gifts. I don't equate "expensive" with "love". I truly appreciate the thought (really, I do!), and I'm grateful the giver believed I was worth the time and money. But what I've always valued most are the handmade gifts and cards my children have given me throughout the years. I have a large storage box filled with homemade cards my kids made for me on various occasions. And somehow, the younger they were and the more primitive the drawing, the more it meant to me. After all, anybody can plop down $3.50 for a sappy, overpriced, mass-produced, impersonal greeting card, but only a child can turn a grown man into a pile of mush by simple crayon drawings of houses and flowers and puppies and hard-to-read scribbles that say, "I love you, Daddy."

Of course, now that they're older, they may feel embarrassed to write mushy cards in crayon. After all, teenagers are easily embarrassed by sentimentality. So, I won't be surprised if this year they give me one of those mass-produced cards, humorous, of course, and a pair of pliers. I remember being in high school, even if it was in another century. And, as I've tried to teach my children, it's the thought that counts, not the gift. So, I will be excited and grateful for the card and pliers, even if they are somewhat impersonal.

But do you think it would be okay to drop a hint that what I really need this year is new rake?

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