Ever since I can remember, I have always looked back to an earlier time. When I was a kid, I looked back to the days of my parents’ youth, of course, with the rosy glasses of their recollections, and thought I had missed something of a wonderful life. The Depression and the gore of World War II didn’t enter into those thoughts.

As I became a young adult, going back in my mind helped me to cope with all the insecurities of puberty and the process of learning what I was capable of accomplishing. It never occurred to me that the confidence expressed in me by my parents, teachers and other adults was because of the insight their experience gave them. I always looked back to a “better time.”

In those days, my peers’ opinions were most important to me in judging myself.

I didn’t understand the dynamics of some individuals’ attempt to feel better personally by putting others down. I foolishly thought that everyone had the same values and motives that I did and that made their opinions important to me. I had a lot of self-worth issues during that period.

My understanding of others came to me gradually in the Navy, as I had to deal with people from all areas of the country and all levels of society. One incident that has remained with me involved a helicopter squadron member, who was completing his enlistment and being discharged the following week. He had been a member of a parish gang in New Orleans, which to me still had a kind of romantic air from the teenage movies I had seen.

I asked him what he was going to do after he got out. His response flabbergasted me. He said, “I’m going back to New Orleans, get a couple of girls and be a pimp.” That was when I found that although he had conformed to our environment and seemed like a truly nice person, I didn’t really know him.

Well, I learned from many incidents like that one, and in time I was able to accomplish things professionally that proved to me that, with the proper preparation and effort, I could do just about anything that I set my mind to.

I also learned many of my shortcomings and by that knowledge, I was able to overcome or work around them to reach my goals. As a consequence, I advanced far beyond any of my initial expectations and, at the age of 64, I can feel good about my life, overall.

That said, I find that during the Christmas season I still become nostalgic for earlier times. If you allow yourself, you can gloss over the painful experiences and have some fond memories of the past. Many times I have heard people say that if they could go back to an earlier age, they would go back to their high school years. Not me! My early 30s would be my target age — back to where I discovered my own self-worth and learned that my own knowledge and experience far outweighed what anyone thought or said about me.

The bottom line is for the youngsters, especially those going through their adolescent years: Hang in there. It gets better! This is your time of discovery, both good and bad. But it will help you form what you are to become in your future. By accepting things as they are and not as you think they are, you will learn to know who you are and who you can become.

Have a Merry Christmas and a pleasant and productive future.

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