Words, words, and words! This world moves with words. They may help make or break your ambition, so your happiness depends on the words you receive. A lot depends upon the words we use – or abuse – as we communicate with those around us. The scriptures repeatedly remind us that our words can encourage or discourage, forgive or condemn, lift up or tear down.
The most powerful weapon in the world, I think, is not a gun or even a nuclear bomb, but rather, it’s a tongue.
As we discuss relationships, the main issue that needs to be considered is the sheer power of words. Words are easy to utter, often tumble out without much reason or forethought. Those who hurl criticism or hostility at others may not even mean or believe what they have said, or for that matter, they may not even remember what they said, when, and why. Their comments may reflect momentary jealousy, resentment, depression, fatigue or revenge, or even senselessness or a wicked sense of humor.
Regardless of the intent, harsh words sting like killer bees.
Almost all of us have lived through moments when a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a friend, a colleague, a husband or wife said something that cut to the quick. The hurt gets sealed for good in the memory bank and may leave one with bitterness, anger; it stains permanently. We should try hard to control the impulse of lashing out verbally; otherwise, we will certainly regret it when the passion has cooled.
Two examples prove the sheer power of words and remind you that words are remembered for a lifetime:
Sen. and the former first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton told a story about her father, who never affirmed her as a child. When she was in high school, she brought home a straight-A report card. She showed it to her father, hoping for a word of commendation. Instead, he said, “Well, you must be attending an easy school.” Almost four decades later, the remark still burns in Mrs. Clinton’s mind. His thoughtless response may have represented nothing more than a casual quip, but it created a point of pain that has endured.
On the other hand, Maya Angelou, America’s famous poet, remembers her glamorous mother who could not handle her small children, so Angelou’s grandmother raised her until she was in her teens.
Later as a 21-year-old mother, holding down two jobs and living on her own, Angelou went to her mother’s house and received unexpected praise. Angelou relates, “She looked at me and she said, ’Baby, you know at this minute I want to tell you something.’ She has fox furs on, silver fox furs, and diamond earrings.” Angelou continues, “She said, ’I think you are the greatest woman I’ve ever met. There is of course Eleanor Roosevelt, Mary McLeod Bethune, and my mother. But you are in that category.”’
Her mother’s words made Angelou think differently of herself and wonder, “Suppose I really am somebody.” At the time her mother uttered those words, Angelou was working on a cable car and was far from the famous woman she would become, but her mother’s words gave her a sense of her future.
Today, we know the name and fame Maya Angelou has earned in the world of literature and in society as a woman, a “phenomenal woman.”
The apostle Paul wrote more than 2,000 years ago, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV). Though the scripture applies to husbands and wives, I believe, it can be just as valuable in dealing with othersl
Use your words carefully to encourage or to help enhance someone’s self-esteem. By choosing your words carefully, you stand to make a positive difference. If you can’t say anything good, rather say nothing.