When my wife and I married, she said she didn’t want cats or dogs in the house. She said this with strong conviction. When she said no cats or dogs inside, she meant no cats or dogs in the house. None. Not ever. She didn’t want the fleas, she didn’t want the dander, she didn’t want the accompanying smells. And since I had lived with indoor pets in the past, along with the inevitable “accidents,” I was agreeable. “Fine,” I said. “No cats or dogs in the house.” Thus it was decided.

My wife should have been more specific. Since moving to the country, we have had, at various times, all sorts of creatures inside our house. There was the litter of baby pot-bellied pigs whose mother died a few days after giving birth, all of which had to be bathed in the bathtub. The bigger they got, the messier they got.

There have been the mice my children purchase from time to time, rescuing them from the owners of hungry snakes. One mouse, who is getting quite elderly, still lives in an old aquarium. He must be the fifth or sixth one we’ve had. The odd thing about mice is that some of them are pets, and some of them are pests. At one point, I was feeding mouse food to the mouse in the aquarium and rat poison to the mouse who scurried through the house in the wee hours. Go figure.

On several occasions, there have been baby ducks and baby chicks staying inside, too young to fend for themselves outside. They’re cute when they’re little, but they’re smelly when they get bigger. They’re also surprisingly noisy. But when they’re so young and it’s so cold outside, what else can you do?

And there was the baby deer we found abandoned in our yard, possibly brought there by a mother dog whose pups were just beginning to eat. I’ve often wondered if she was trying to teach her pups how to hunt by bringing them some wild game. We bottle-fed that deer and kept her inside for months. It’s amazing how much milk a growing deer will drink.

There have been several baby bunnies throughout the years, one who just never could be tamed. We’ve kept baby geese inside while they were young. We’ve hosted quail, toads, fish and turtles. The baby donkey, however, was not allowed to live inside. He only visited from time to time, usually just long enough to have his picture taken.

Currently, in addition to the aforementioned mouse, we reside with a baby sheep. It’s like having a human baby in the house. He’s finally starting to sleep through the night, but for a while we had to get up once or twice every night to give him a bottle. He’s about 7 weeks old now, and he’s already growing horns, which should prove interesting the next time he bolts through the dining room. He’s blind in one eye, possibly the reason he was rejected by his birth mother, but, in spite of his handicap, he loves to curl up next to my daughter and watch television with his good eye. To say he’s spoiled would be an understatement.

Chickens, ducks, fish, reptiles, amphibians, rabbits, birds, deer and pigs. We’ve housed them, fed them and cleaned up after them. We’ve cleaned up all sorts of messes. But, throughout everything, I’ve been good as my word. There has not been a single dog or cat living in our house, not one, and there never will be.

When my wife says something, she means it.

T&D Correspondent John Ott can be reached by phone at 803-829-3638. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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