Imagine a room full of screaming children with one adult, who is evidently unable to command enough respect to quiet them down. Imagine that adult flipping down a DVD player with the latest entertainment video. Then imagine those children as quiet and gentle as lambs.

Next, imagine the voice-over proclaiming: “If you give children what they want, you’ll get what you want.

We don’t have to imagine that scenario. It’s viewable on any television station across America right now. There’s a second edition on a school bus. Same scenario. Same voice-over.

There are times when I look at television commercials, and I think they are truly clever. They sell a product with creativity and energy. Sometimes the sense of humor or irony is just too funny. I admire those kinds of commercials.

But I detest these commercials about the DVD player. Why? Because they tell a bald-faced lie. Folks, if we give children what they want, we will never get what we want.

What we want, I think, are healthy, well-adjusted children who learn throughout their lives the meaning of sacrifice, the importance of respecting their elders regardless of the constraints they may put upon them, and the important meaning of the word, “no.”

“No” never hurt me in the long run, and I imagine it did not hurt you either. At the time, perhaps I did think my parents were the meanest parents in the world; but as I aged and matured, I realized that they were teaching me some of the most valuable lessons I would ever learn.

When “Dr. Zhivago” was released in the theaters, I was about 13 years old.ˇ All of my friends were being allowed to see the movie. My parents steadfastly said, “no,” and I steadfastly persisted in begging for a reason. In their assessment, the content of the movie was too mature for a 13-year-old. Was I disappointed? You bet. Was I angry and did I pout? You bet.

But my parents did not give me what I wanted. That was that. And looking back now, I admire them for not giving in, for sticking by their beliefs and for teaching me that I did not have to like their every decision but that I was expected to respect them and to obey. I finally saw “Dr. Zhivago” when I was a young adult.

There were many other instances of steadfast refusal to what I wanted. There was an equal amount of debate and disappointment, but the results were always the same. My parents did not give me everything I wanted. My mother often salted the negative answers with the words, “You’re not too old for your wants to hurt you.”

What we will get, if we give children what they want, are children who think the world revolves around their wishes and desires. What we will get are children who think they are the center of the universe. What we will get are children who will find it extremely difficult to adjust to the real world because no one has taught them the meaning of prioritizing, making wise choices and deferring instant gratification to learn more valuable lessons about saving and waiting. We also may get children who never leave home!

One of the other things my mother, and my father, told my three brothers and me was that after we received our college diplomas, we were expected to get a job, live on our own and be independent. We did not tell them what we wanted. They told us what they expected, and we honored their investment in us and their hopes for us by doing those things.

Television lies. If we give children what they want, we will not get what we want.

My mother did not lie. You’re not too old for your wants to hurt you.

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