A visit to my grandmother always meant we HAD to make a quick visit to Great-Aunt Anna. She and Uncle Truman lived a couple blocks away, so we usually strolled over, making the trip take as long as possible. The saving grace was that we wouldn't have to stay long.

Great-Aunt Anna had been a secretary in Chicago in her youth and had lost her hearing. It was attributed to the extreme cold in the Windy City, and although she had tried all kinds of treatment, she was permanently hard of hearing and tired easily.

The first obstacle in the visit was pushing the light button on the porch. Although she was unable to hear a doorbell, she could see a light. Uncle Truman would come to the door and usher us to chairs with his "Methodist church usher" grace.

After the usual hugs and packages of food we brought were given to Great-Aunt Anna, we children escaped to the porch, where the conversation was always overheard. She spoke with the tremor of the hard of hearing, and things were repeated often.

Proper wearing apparel was always a deep conversation. She thought it was positively wicked for ladies to wear sleeveless dresses. Girls should have good examples and, hopefully, they would not violate the dress code ethics.

This invariably led to what the ladies were wearing at church in those days. It was positively sacrilegious to attend church in short sleeves and definitely not sleeveless dresses, according to Great-Aunt Anna. Her rational was that flabby arms were ugly and so many of the ladies' under straps were evident.

Of course, no lady or girl would go to church or any formal function without a suitable hat. According to her, the hat should not have a large brim that obstructed the people's view who sat behind her.

The memory of her disapproval remains with me. As a preteen I had worn braids. I never learned to braid them myself. Before I went to 4-H camp, I persuaded my mother that it was time to cut my hair. Gong to Great-Aunt Anna's with a short hair cut was not a pleasant visit.

"A woman's hair is her crowning glory," she would say, "and only your husband sees it down."

As the cousins in the family announced coming weddings, Great-Aunt Anna's first utterance was, "I do hope she has selected a suitable bride's dress with long sleeves." Of course, a complementary headpiece would be required.

We were always glad to leave the poor dear who was so starved for company. She was able to hear all her religious programs on the radio. She faithfully wrote for pamphlets and gave to what she considered good causes.

While other members of the family were willed token amounts of money, her note to me was: "Since you don't need money, I am leaving you some dishes." I think of her every time I use the fragile, hand-painted sauce dishes she so carefully designed and other items.

I think of those visits as I read the wedding announcements in the newspaper. Most of the brides not only have sleeveless gowns, but strapless ones. According to the pictures, some should have heard Great-Aunt Anna's advice on wearing lady-like attire, leaving some room for imagination.

T&D Correspondent Bettylou R. Terry can be reached by phone at 803-793-3381. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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