What are we really giving?

My husband and I have been through some pretty tough times over the last couple of years with personal losses and major changes in our careers. Some of these changes, while devastating in the beginning, have made us stronger in other ways. I think we know much more about who we are and what really matters.

This year, as the subject of Christmas gifts comes up, we look for other ways to express our love for family and friends. In years past we have spent many frantic hours shopping for the perfect gift for each individual. It occurs to me now that may not have always been the best approach. I wish now that I had had the foresight to explore what I really have to give.

I recently had a long conversation with a dear friend who finds herself in the same situation. She was lamenting that she would not be able to shop for everyone on her list. Because she is a gifted cosmetologist, I asked why she didn't give gift certificates for free haircuts, etc. She has cut my hair and my husbands' hair for a long time now, and I know we would appreciate a gift ce.jpgicate like that. It would surely save money for us and allow her to use her "gift" to give to others.

I have another friend who is a "whiz" at keeping a house spotless. She really seems to enjoy making a home look clean and inviting. I must admit I don't understand that since I consider housekeeping the very essence of drudgery, but perhaps that is one of her gifts. I suggested she also give gift certificates.

Over the last few years, my husband's parents have passed on family heirlooms to us for anniversaries, birthdays and at Christmas. How wonderful to be entrusted with these treasures. This year, my daughter will receive some jewelry left to me by my mother, and my granddaughter will receive an antique tea set that I acquired many years ago in New Orleans. I doubt that the antique store where I purchased it still exists.

My gifts, I'm not so sure about. I know that I love crafting almost as much as I enjoy eating. And, that's saying a lot. This year I found a way to turn old wine bottles into lighted angel decorations. A little polymer clay, a short string of lights, some ribbon and a LOT of time, and bingo, a centerpiece or a mantel decoration. I don't know what they would cost in a store ... and I don't care. I know that when I make one with a particular loved one or friend in mind, it gives a lot back to me. I guess that's a "two for one" deal.

Perhaps one of the most important lessons I've learned from the last two years is that Christmas is not about what we "give or get" in a commercial sense, but rather what we have been given on a much, much higher level and what we have to give as a result of that gift.

I'm sure we all have a lot to give that may not require a trip to a store.

T&D Correspondent Peggie Walter can be reached by e-mail at pbwred@tds.net. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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