Most parents have at least one child with Verbal Blabbering Syndrome.

The child, Babbles, tolerates his condition amazing well, seeming only to make others suffer. Babbles's mouth blabs all day long regardless of whether anyone cares about what he is saying, if people have inserted ear plugs or if he knows nothing about the topic he is blabbing about. He can even blab in his sleep.

So it is with great shock to find Babbles cowering behind your legs in silence when you introduce him to a friend from your Verbal Blabbering Support Group. What happens to Babbles when you bring him to a playdate and he stares at the ground, clutches your hands and refuses to look at other kids? How can a child so seemingly extroverted at home act so shy at other times? Is shyness harmful, and what can we do about it?

Admittedly, a little reprieve from Babble's blabber may be nice. You may even be tempted to keep a spare stranger around to whip out and stick in front of Babbles to silence his blabbing when you've had too much. In reality, though, many parents worry about the effects of shyness on social development.

Shyness is a universal, normal personality trait. It does not indicate a child will live alone in a dark apartment with twelve cats later in life. Shyness can be hard, though, for outgoing parents to accept. Additionally, some parents are confused over the personality split of extrovert one minute and reclusive the next.

Because children are comfortable at home with their family, they feel good about expending all their daily words with them. New people and places can cause anxiety. Shyness is like a defense mechanism that allows kids to withdraw and assess a situation until they feel okay with it.

Generally speaking, shyness is not cause for concern. Some shy children, however, become withdrawn, are not asked to join others at play, hang out alone and perceive themselves as less popular or likable than their peers.

Allow Babbles to warm up to new situations without encouraging shyness. Do not introduce him as "your shy child" or allow him to cling to you constantly. When possible, prepare him ahead of time for new experiences. Offer your presence until he feels comfortable or for an agreed upon period of time. Pushing in social situations only makes shyness worse, thwarting any chance at building social skills.

Have realistic expectations for Babbles when dropping him off at a party or school. He may prefer to linger alone instead of walking up to a group of kids, and that is okay. Not many adults feel comfortable walking up to strangers and asking to join them either unless, of course, it is after midnight at some hopping bar.

Develop your child's social skills by role modeling social behaviors. Talk with your neighbors and others so your child sees this as natural. Have him practice saying "hi" to one new person every day.

Babbles is never at a loss for questions at home, so have him pick a few favorites to practice and use as social openers. Asking classmates "can I play also?" or "how loud can you burp?" opens up conversation.

Have one-on-one playdates at your house so Babbles feels secure. The more exposure to other kids he has, the more confident he will become.

Talk with teachers and babysitters about his shyness. Ask them not to put him on the spot or force him to speak at group time, as this may embarrass him, making shyness worse. An alternative is to buddy him up with a "security friend" when it is his turn to stand up and talk.

Reinforce your child's self-esteem. Praise him for attempts at social interaction, and do not criticize shy behavior. Being social is hard for some children, and any effort should be rewarded with your enthusiasm. Respect that not all children want to be class clown. Remember that shyness is only one part of his personality and should not be an obstacle in your relationship. Support all of his talents and strengths.

Shyness is normal and is generally not a problem unless your child appears to be extremely anxious or develops negative self-esteem. As children's exposures to new environments and people increases, so will their comfort level. And then, everyone will be lucky enough to listen to Babbles blab.

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