The following story was given to me by Mary Hanes, one of my faithful readers. It came from "Visions," an Oaks publication. I hope it will bring you a good laugh.

"Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival, they discover the most bea.jpgul golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them they are all welcome to play the course. He cautions them that there is only one rule: Don't hit the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks, 'The ducks?'

'Yes,' Peter replies, 'there are millions of ducks walking around the course, and if one gets hit, he squawks, then the one next to him squawks and soon they're all squawking to beat the band, and it really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished ... Otherwise, everything is yours to enjoy.'

After entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed a gaggle of ducks everywhere. Within 15 minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck squawked, the next one squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck squawks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked, 'Who hit the duck?'

The man who had done it admitted, 'I did.'

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand.

'I told you not to hit the ducks,' he said. 'Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.'

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within minutes, St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before.

St. Peter determined which one had hit the duck by the fear in his face and cuffed the man's right hand to the woman's left hand.

'I told you not to hit the ducks,' he said. 'Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.'

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this, he still hadn't hit a duck. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and had with him a knockout gorgeous woman, the most bea.jpgul woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled at the man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the bea.jpgul woman and walked off.

The man knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh, and said, 'What have I done to deserve this?'

The woman responded, 'I don't know about you, but I hit a duck.'"

If my memory serves me correctly, it was Abraham Lincoln who said, "If you have something to say about a man, say it to him. If you don't have the intestinal fortitude to tell him, then keep it to yourself."

I recently had a procedure done at the Regional Medical Center. I received some of the finest professional help available anywhere. My urologist, Dr. Walton Mims, performed the procedure. This giant hulk of a man with his soft-spoken voice, who is not only my doctor but a dear friend, was in charge. From the time we checked in at the same-day surgery, I received attention for my every need from the entire staff. For fear of leaving names out, I will mention none. But Billie and I want to thank all of the professionals for the tender love and care I received. Every time we find it necessary for hospital care, we feel so fortunate to have such a facility as the Regional Medical Center.

To all of the fine folks out there, our sincere and heartfelt thanks.

Lest we forget ...

T&D Columnist Rinehart Chewning is a longtime resident of Holly Hill. His column appears every Saturday. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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