Going into debt for a wedding is no way to start married life. Maxing out credit cards is a bad example to set for the teenager having a bar mitzvah, sweet 16 or quinceanara. And by the time 50th birthdays and golden anniversaries roll around, people know that friends and family matter more than price tags.

Besides, it's easy to have a big, beautiful bash on a budget. Here are eight tips.

1. INVITATIONS. Thermographed invitations cost 50-70 percent less than engraved invitations, "and no one can usually tell," said Alan Fields, co-author with his wife Denise of "Bridal Bargains." Or make your own invitations, said Sharon Naylor, author of "1,000 Best Wedding Bargains."

She recommends Mountaincow.com for invitation software and paper, with CDs starting at $29.99. Or order invitations online from a site like Invitations4Sale.com, which Naylor says offers 40 percent off retail prices.

Limit enclosures so you don't go over the one-ounce maximum for envelopes with a 41-cent stamp. Note that square envelopes and oddly shaped envelopes cost more to mail. Consider postcards for the RSVP -- less postage. Or skip reply cards for teen parties and informal weddings; ask for RSVP by e-mail or phone.

For kids' parties, you could even go paperless with e-vites.

2. GOWNS. "Buy online," Fields advised. Online discounters can order brand-name dresses for 20-40 percent off retail, and some wedding dress factories in China have Web sites that will ship gowns direct to consumers for $50-$100 -- a bargain even with $100 shipping. Fields' recommendations include Netbride.com, PearlsPlace.com, BlueCatalog.com and JuliusBridal.com.

Filene's Basement runs a famous bridal sale slashing prices on designer dresses.

Robert Brokamp, who writes about personal finance for The Motley Fool, said he found a dress for his wife Elizabeth at David's Bridal, which has 285 stores, for $250. "It was on the discount rack," he said.

Check out department stores when prom season ends: "You might find sophisticated prom dresses that work for a wedding gown," Naylor said.

To save on high-end gowns, wedding planner Samantha Goldberg advises brides to sign up for trunk shows at department stores like Saks Fifth Avenue or wedding retailers like Kleinfeld Bridal. Also, compare state sales taxes. Buying a $5,000 dress in a nearby state with no clothing tax could save hundreds, said Goldberg, who is known for her work with Style Network's "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?"

3. FLOWERS AND DECOR. Fields recommends Costco for flowers. Costco's "Simply Elegant Wedding Rose Collections" (40-piece sets including bouquets and centerpieces, $760; 20-piece set, $430). Order online for delivery anywhere in the U.S. Hydrangeas and calla lilies available, too; prices vary.

Naylor notes that the cheapest flowers will be those in season the month you're getting married; that "greenery filler is less expensive than flowers and makes for a beautiful natural look"; and that smaller bouquets show off gowns to greater advantage.

Casey Cooper, co-author of "What's Your Bridal Style?", says do-it-yourself brides can learn the basics of designing centerpieces, boutonnieres and bouquets. The event design firm Botanicals in Chicago offers classes like "Wedding Design."

Inexpensive ways to dress up tables: candles, bright balloons, wildflowers in jars, potted plants in season -- tulips in spring, mums in fall.

At Congregation Beth Elohim in Brooklyn, N.Y., kids celebrating bar and bat mitzvahs sometimes make centerpieces by filling baskets with nonperishable food for a soup kitchen. Wrap the baskets in colored plastic wrap, add a bow and card about the charity, and you've got a centerpiece that's both beautiful and meaningful.

4. DRINK. Instead of open bar with bartender, have a serve-yourself table with wine, beer and/or champagne. Wine retailers can recommend wines in your price range and often give discounts by the case.

If you opt for the full bar, Goldberg notes that restaurants and hotels charge more for premium brands like Johnny Walker and Grey Goose. Ask for Smirnoff vodka or house brands for a lower price.

5. FOOD. Catered meals with chicken or fish can run 35 percent of your budget, "but if you start getting into filet mignon, prime rib or lobster, you're going to find yourself in the 40 percent bracket," Goldberg said.

Buffets are cheaper than sit-down meals, because you don't pay for table service. But you might want a server to control portions on the buffet for pricey items like smoked salmon, steak or sashimi.

Consider ethnic food. Having a Thai restaurant cater chicken sate -- grilled chicken on a stick -- with pad Thai noodles might cost less than traditional alternatives.

Brokamp, The Motley Fool writer, had his wedding at a relative's home in the countryside where the food was "basically a cookout -- hot dogs and hamburgers."

For birthday or anniversary parties, guests might bring potluck food instead of gifts. For teenage parties, order pizza, wings, 6-foot-hero sandwiches or see if a Mexican restaurant will cater a taco bar.

6. CAKE. Have the cake of your dreams -- only smaller. Then order a sheet cake with the same frosting and flavor, Naylor advised, and have servers plate dessert off the sheet cake in the kitchen.

Also: "Skip the dessert table" with three other choices, Fields said. "People are eating fewer desserts these days anyway."

He added that buttercream frosting is cheaper and tastes better than fondant icing, and fresh flowers "spruce up a plain cake" and cost less than labor-intensive frosting flowers.

7. TIME AND PLACE. Most popular months for weddings are May, June, September and October. Daytime events are cheaper than nighttime, especially if the photographers and DJ get to leave early enough to make a second gig that night.

"A daytime wedding in April costs a third of a nighttime wedding in September," Naylor said.

Lunch and brunch food is cheaper than dinner. A midday party saves guests money, too: They drive in early and get home that night without paying for a hotel overnight.

If you hold the wedding in a private home, park or other venue outside a hotel or restaurant, you might save money -- or not. Research costs like renting tables, chairs, linens, plates, tent for rain, etc.

If the ceremony and reception are in the same place, you won't need a limo, and you won't be paying photographers for 20 minutes spent in transit.

Destination weddings are cheaper for two reasons: You combine honeymoon and wedding costs, and fewer people come. "For smaller weddings, second weddings, if you fear you're going to have to invite your entire office, if you fear the wedding will spiral out of control, destination weddings are a great way to save money, because not everyone can fly off to Bermuda to stand on the beach with you," Fields said.

8. FUN, NOT FANCY: Brokamp's 1999 wedding, with 150 guests, cost less than $5,000, thanks to inexpensive choices -- like the cookout, gown off the discount rack, reception at a sister-in-law's home, old family photos on the tables instead of centerpieces. Others pitched in -- Brokamp's mom, who is a florist, did the flowers with the help of other relatives; a friend tended bar; a cousin manned the grill.

"If you want the traditional wedding with all the traditional stuff, you're going to have to pay for it," Brokamp said. "We focused on people having fun rather than people being too fancy."

Don’t scrimp on photos and music when planning a big party

There are lots of ways to save money when you’re planning a big celebration: Get your gown wholesale. Make your own invitations. Serve wine instead of having a full bar.

But experts say there are two areas where it’s worth paying for a professional: Photos and music.

You’re taking a risk if you expect guests to take good photos instead of hiring a pro. Instead, limit costs by sending the photographer home after the ceremony and first hour of the reception.

Find a photographer who will give you a CD with all the images instead of requiring you to pay for each print. Then e-mail copies to friends and family, put photos up on a share site, and make your own album.

And while you could make your own CD or iPod playlist and rig up a sound system, you’ll have a better party if you leave it to a professional.

“When you have a DJ or a band, they can read your crowd,” said Sharon Naylor, author of “1,000 Best Wedding Bargains.” “They know what kind of music to play. You might not get as great a party if you don’t hire an expert.”

Be sure to consult with kids about acceptably cool music for their parties — it may be the single most important choice you make for that bar mitzvah, quinceanara or sweet 16.

You must be logged in to comment.