For a number of years, I divulged myself in the luxury of the sport of archery. When most folks would be having a mid-life crisis, I was having a blast.

I had fiddled around with archery as a youngster and really wanted to learn more. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to participate in the sport for several decades. But once I got started again, I threw myself into it with a passion.

It was so fun! I went to local, state, regional and national competitions. I love to travel and went as far as Indiana, Michigan, Oklahoma and Florida.

I won a bunch of trophies, which really thrilled me. I was such a klutz growing up, I couldn’t participate in any organized sports in school. So as I eventually accumulated a lot of these dust collectors, it was like a dream come true. In my heyday, I got pretty good at it. I even have a couple of Robin Hoods. That’s when I shot my arrow into the tail end of another arrow already in the target.

During this time, I met a lot of interesting people and garnered a lot of archery wit and wisdom. Whenever I noticed a funny saying, axiom or insight, I would write them down. Eventually, I had quite a collection.

I found them in an assortment of unusual locations – on T-shirts, bumper stickers, in articles, books and magazines, and even on ball caps. This was in the days before personal computers were anywhere near my bailiwick, so I don’t think any got to me by the inevitable e-mail. I sifted out my favorites and composed what I call the “13 Commandments of Archery.”

If you’ve ever participated in archery, or if you have ever heard about the Peter Principle, you will probably be able to relate to some of these:

In regards to arrows:

* When lost arrows are finally found, they tend to belong to the other guy.

* If two arrows are found, the newer one will be bent.

* The bend in an aluminum arrow is always too near the point to be straightened.

* A 16-inch bale of straw can hide any number of 28-inch arrows.

* Arrows under the duff will be stepped on and bent before they are seen and picked up.

* Arrows arched and shot for maximum range tend not to come down at all. Achieving orbit, they simply burn up on re-entry.

* Arrows lost in plain sight are found in subsequent centuries.

* The most expensive arrows are always found broken.

* Favorite arrows are always lost first.

* The most expensive arrows are always found broken.

* If there is only one field stone boulder on a 10-acre practice range, the lost arrow will be found just in front of it, usually ruined.

And, here’s a special section for the bow hunters out there:

* If but a single twig grows between a bow hunter and his target, his arrow will hit it perfectly, ricochet and come down somewhere over the rainbow.

* Broadheads tend to be lost where people go barefoot.

I certainly hope I haven’t plagiarized any copyrighted material. I gathered these witticisms so long ago, I don’t remember where they came from, but I would certainly give credit where credit is due if I could. I just want to share the humor.

T&D Correspondent Loretta Demko can be reached by e-mail at eeshtenem@yahoo.com.

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