One evening a while back, I had a nightly TV news program going, chattering, ranting and pouring forth all of the bad, sad, idiotic and distressing news into my living room. Actually I wasn’t really listening to much of it since I was engrossed in the sports page of the newspaper.

At one point, the three people on the news team panel were loudly bantering and bickering about the latest congressional fiascos, downright crooked, immoral behavior. Then the words “earmarks” and “pork barrel” caught my ear and made me lift my eyes from the printed page.

I began to listen intently to what they were so avidly discussing. Those terms brought to mind those squealing, greedy critters called pigs!

For some time now, I’ve been disgruntled about the performance (or lack thereof) of our national Congress. “Hmm,, I thought, “earmarking and pork-barrel spending; very appropriate terms for that self-seeking bunch in Washington!” Okay, I know, not all of ’em are egocentric, power hungry and indifferent, but doggone it, way too many of ‘em are!— course, that’s just my opinion.

But, anyway, back to the pigs. In times past, farmers used to turn their pigs loose in the woods to “root” and forage for themselves. (Incidentally, That’s where the old saying “root hog or die!” came from.) If there was an abundant crop of acorns and other wild foods, they’d grow and fatten up nicely so that when they were rounded up, they’d be ready for slaughter or for the market. Since hogs belonging to several farmers would sometimes be foraging in the same woods, they’d cut identifying notches in their ears before releasing them. Hence the term “earmarking.”

I did a little research concerning these terms and found that, in a nutshell, congressional earmarking is special spending projects that are slipped into any federal spending bill. They’re inserted after all debate is over. Any member of Congress can insert them without having to put his or her name on the earmarks, and with no public review. They’re usually specific to one locale (usually that of the congressmen who slip them in), but paid for by taxpayers everywhere. For congressmen, earmarks may represent “bringing home the bacon,” but the resulting excessive spending is frying taxpayers and driving up the cost of government. It’s a real sneaky ripoff that’s getting worse!

“Pork spending,” or “pork-barrel spending,” is commonly used as a metaphor for the appropriation of government spending for projects that are intended primarily to benefit particular constituents, friends or campaign contributors. This usage originated with reference to gifts of barrels of salt pork given by slave owners to their salves.

Speaking of pork, when I was young, I tried raising hogs for a while. I soon found out that they were smart, exasperating, conniving, destructive -- and sometimes mean and dangerous!

One hog in my herd of porkers was a huge, mean sow I had named “Neta” in cynical tribute to a woman of that name that I’d known as a boy -- the meanest, surliest, most vile-mouthed woman I had ever met. Neta the sow did justice to that name! She was one ugly, malevolent hog! She’d glare at you with her evil, slanty eyes and charge like an infuriated grizzly bear! If Neta had a litter of pigs, she became a raging monster toward every other living thing. She almost nailed me a couple of times before I could get over the fence. I finally sold her. Old Neta was really dangerous!

Shoot! I wish I’d have taken a picture of that darn, ugly hog. I’d get it blown up huge, frame it and start a petition to have it hung in the hallowed halls of Congress. It’d be an appropriate reminder of their earmarking, pork-barrel spending and other “piggy” shenanigans!

T&D Columnist Rush Button can be reached by e-mail at buttonrl@aol.com or by phone at 803-534-3724. His column appears every Tuesday.

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