All I had to do was to write a sentence. In English, even.

It seemed like such a simple thing to do. In fact, I’m doing it right now. But, the sentence I wanted to write had to be a special sentence.

It was to be the first sentence in a paragraph. Not just any paragraph, but a “graf.” This word is not in my dictionary, but I have seen it referred to as newspaper jargon in treatises on how to write.

And, it was not just any graf but the lead sentence in a news article. The “How To” books all urge the reporter to write short, clear sentences that use simple words and get right to the point.

“WHAT?” I panicked. “But I prefer an abbreviated phraseology, distinguished by its lucidity.”

I have to get right to the point, state the most important fact or facts and entice the reader to continue. What was rapidly becoming a Herculean project loomed over the edge of the computer screen.

I started out with my sentence, desperately trying to conjure up an alluring introduction using only those three- and four-letter, short, clear words. I could hardly get past the subject of the sentence before adjectives and adverbs appeared out of nowhere and scrambled around on the page.

I don’t believe in reinventing the wheel. Why not get some advice from someone who knew how to write? Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I recall a couple of quotes from Mark Twain (I just love Mark Twain, the American Shakespeare) about this very subject. His advice was if you find an adjective, kill it. And don’t ever, ever use adverbs. Well, what else is left? How can I describe without using those pesky parts of speech?

Well, duh, verbs! Put the verbs to work. That’s not quite as easy as it sounds either, especially if you are working on a deadline. Just the right verb can be elusive, slithering around just out of reach. It’s always better if you can let the piece of writing marinate for a few days. No matter how many times you proofread, there is always something else, albeit miniscule, to prune out or tuck in.

I love to write. I agonize over everything, and agony doesn’t give the impression of being very enjoyable. But it certainly (oops! an adverb) can be. An idea goes through a metamorphosis and ends up printed on paper. It makes sense. It might even be entertaining, humorous or educational.

Word processing programs are the greatest thing that happened to writing. It is so easy to adjust, modify, move, rewrite, whatever, ad nauseam. Back in the days of old-time typewriters (and, yes, those are what I learned to type on; “ding” went the little bell and “swish” the carriage back to the left) you had to have all your ducks in a row before you started typing. There was very little leeway for making corrections, and virtually no way to rewrite. I have blanked out of my mind how many times I had to retype entire pages. Wedging footnotes in at the end was torture.

I took one English course in all of my years in college, and that was a literature course. Everything I know, I learned through experience and research. Is it nerdy to enjoy sitting around reading grammar books and dictionaries? A lot of what I write may only be of interest to me; others may groan and say, “Oh, no, not her again.” But it makes me happy. If somewhere along the way someone has gleaned something helpful or of interest from one of my items, then I have been successful.

What more can I ask?

T&D Correspondent Loretta Demko can be reached by e-mail at eeshtenem@yahoo.com.

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