Pumpkins are OK, cooler weather feels good, but true autumn ecstasy comes from one source only: football. Eager guys, their egos exploding, and their wives swarm to the gridirons every Saturday.

There, the machos can get drunk on old buddies and old bragging while they watch the muscular youngsters swat, batter, crush and maul each other.

And sometimes the show is better than that. Recently, while many O-burgers spectated, The Citadel got into an all-day feud with the Ivy League Princeton (University) Tigers. It kicked off in the morning.

Princeton brought a band -- well, it looked sort of like a band. Just out of the boxes from Sheik Ben, a low-priced tailor in Mongolia, their uniforms featured knee-length, orange wool coats and coonskin caps. The innovative musical instruments included drums created from two toilet seats.

Deliberately or maybe not, they chose mid-morning to sashay around the parade ground of the military academy. There, 2,000 cadets in knitted, navy blue shorts and T-shirts were ranting and panting through the official Field Day Exercises.

As the 40 “Tiger Tuners” turned and started down the “Avenue of Remembrance,” cadet wrath peaked. A sizeable group, mad and vengeful, deserted their calisthenics and surged toward the musicians (question mark). There, for a few minutes they stood in defiance while “innocent bystanders” held to their places, hoping to witness a juicy, bare-knuckle brawl.

Bulldogs total muddle

Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed, the cadets backed away and the Tigers retreated, still sashaying. Word came that many Yankee schools now have these musical (question mark) groups which specialize in irreverence toward college football traditions. And this goopy group wasn’t through.

The pre-game get-together in the Alumni House became an authentic dedication to human noise. Among the shouters and squealers glorying in the thick of it were: George McDaniel, Frank Tyler, Bob Crane, Dallas Lovelace, David Bull, Curt Campbell, John Felder, Bob Utsey and Bert Shuler. Total fun overtook.

Then, as 13,000 spectators climbed up the bleachers, cadets formed a giant, two-sided “C” and clapped in very fancy style (the kind of thing the Rockettes do with their legs) as the Bulldogs tore in. Nothing much happened after that, really nothing. For two quarters the cadet footballers missed passes, return runs, interceptions and nearly everything else. Post and Courier reporter Jeff Hartsell, said: “Coming off an open week, the Bulldogs looked like they had gotten out of bed five minutes before kickoff.” Not so the Tigers, who scored a field goal, a touchdown and an extra point.

“We got upset with ourselves because we were playing a bad half,” said Coach Kevin Higgins. “We needed an ‘adjustment in attitude.’”

Finally, three minutes before the half, the Dogs climbed back in the game with an 11-yard TD pass to Andre Roberts, wide receiver. Then, still not fully justified, the crowd and cadets had to take another put-down by the Princeton band. Still sashaying, they employed gestures to spoof the decency of the day.

Woweeeee!

No matter. This time the corps stood ready. All at attention in snow-white dress hats and perfectly tucked grey shirts, they turned their backs and kept booing to throttle the entire performance.

Meanwhile, Coach Higgins must have delivered the “attitude adjustment” in the lockers because sweet revenge followed. Back in the game, the Bulldogs’ Bart Blanchard, quarterback, tossed a 35-yard pass to Josh Haney, wide receiver, to set up a four-yard TD pass to Taylor Cornett, tight end. For the first time, the Citadelians surged ahead 21-17. Next, a 54-yard punt return to Roberts led to a five-yard TD by Asheton Jordan, running back. Woweeee! One more three-and-out then Blanchard’s six-yard TD pass to Roberts clinched it at 37-17.

By this time, the old cannon on the side of the field had been fired enough times to back up a Civil War battlefield attack. Instead of a big blast, its tone resembles that of the cannon falling off the roof of a ten-story building onto the roof of a five-story building. BAMWHAM!

The jubilant crowd streamed back to the parking lots, many to little Citadel Blue tents, to grill steaks and onions and pour medicine for their aches and bunions. They discussed every touchdown, adding ample curse remarks for the “dirty Yankee band.” The News and Courier pronounced even more vilifying words: “That band should be ashamed. All those pseudo-intellectuals and not a single brain among them.”

Retired editor and public relations executive Thomas Langford’s column is titled “Some Edisto stories.” Let him know if you have stories to share: 803-534-2097.

You must be logged in to comment.