More than two dozen tweens lined the walls of an empty Orangeburg Preparatory School classroom, fidgeting as they listened to etiquette lessons from Rosemary McGee. On the menu: dating and restaurant-dining etiquette.

"If he says, 'Ooo, I'm looking at the 16-ounce T-bone,' you know what that means? He's got big bucks, and you can order something along those same lines," McGee advised the students. "But if he says, 'I think the pasta Alfredo looks good,' what does that let you know? Pasta or chicken. The pasta and the chicken are the least expensive things on the menu."

She said it's up to the man to give his date "some clues, guide her, or even suggest something" that is in his price range for the meal.

"You need to be polite, and you need to give clues so you're not in the kitchen washing dishes," McGee said, drawing giggles from her students.

The boys, dressed in khakis, coats and ties, and girls, in skirts or dresses, shot glances at each other every once in a while, but mostly giggled with their friends as McGee instructed them in manners. Every now and then, McGee would have to gently remind the girls to cross their ankles while seated.

This is the 20th year McGee and Margaret Barnwell have offered the six-week class, and the pair said they have no plans to quit any time soon. At least one student in the class was following in the footsteps of an older sister, who took ballroom dancing three years ago.



Eleven-year-old Regan Miller, a student at Calhoun Academy, said she has enjoyed the dances, her favorite being the waltz. She figures it is a skill she will need later in life, particularly for college socials and other events. Another useful lesson she's garnered from the classes is proper table manners.

Kids "should do it because it's fun and they'll learn stuff," Miller said, throwing her full endorsement behind the classes.

Her sister, Hayley, said she still remembers the dances, although she admits that she doesn't use or practice them much. But the 14-year-old said the etiquette lessons definitely come in handy.

"It does help them," said dad Tim Miller. "It's nice to know there's someone out there teaching etiquette. ... You go out to a restaurant, and there's so many families out there with their children just throwing stuff and just not listening and all that."

Each class begins with such a lesson, covering everything from the proper way to meet and greet people to telephone and table manners, McGee said.

Then, the students hit the dance floor to learn the box step, waltz, shag and cha-cha.

"It's been a nice way for these children to meet people, meet other students," McGee said of the hour-long class. "They mix after that initial meeting, the schools and the students. They just dance. That's why we like to use little games to mix them up, the candy dance, the crayon dance and the Cinderella dance.

"Some of them can't wait to be the first one to cross the floor to ask a partner, so that's why we try to encourage everybody to mix and match."

In the 20 years the women have been teaching the classes, they have seen many venue and fashion changes. They have taught ballroom dancing in Orangeburg Prep's canteen and a school biology lab. Girls have gone from wearing poufy skirts and dresses with huge bows to high heels and spaghetti straps.

"It is a fun thing. We just love it, and the children have just been precious," Barnwell said. "I've done refresher courses in the summer, like when some of them have debutante balls or events to go to when they're in college. They'll call, and before I know it, I've got four or five students ... and we're doing the shag. They always remember, 'Oh, you taught me ballroom dancing. I remember you.'"

McGee remembers taking ballroom dancing and etiquette when she, too, was in sixth or seventh grade.

"That's just something that we all did," she said. The teachers "wore those chiffon prom gowns ... and we wore little white gloves.

"When we started, we just decided that we needed to simplify it. ... I think the dances are a lot more informal anyway, but manners are still important."

The women continue a tradition started by Isabelle Whaley Sloan, who "taught ballroom dancing in Orangeburg forever," McGee said. When Sloan retired, Beth Lee Hewitt took over for a couple of years before Barnwell, McGee and Ruth Horger began in January 1989. Horger retired about three years later, leaving Barnwell and McGee at the helm.

The years have been full of memorable experiences, like the time all the boys in the class showed up at the annual end-of-session dinner at the Country Club of Orangeburg wearing tuxes and in a limousine. And through the years, the teachers have learned a step or two, as well.

"I've gone out there and done the Electric Slide with them and not been able to move the next morning," Barnwell said, laughing. "We've learned some dances, like the Cha-Cha Stomp or whatever it is, some line dances and all."

While most of the students could honestly say they were there because "my momma made me," just as many added that they have learned something during the dance lessons and actually enjoyed themselves.

"I'm taking it because I like dancing, but my mom signed me up for it and didn't tell me," said 12-year-old Mary Frances Watford, a student at Orangeburg Prep. "I like it a lot. I like dancing because I've been taking it since I was 2-1/2. I like the waltz ... because it's so nice when someone actually does it right."

Freddie Rigden, 12, said that while his mom made him take the class, he has enjoyed learning to shag. The Orangeburg Prep student still hasn't taken his mom up on a dance offer, however.

Twelve-year-old Wyatt Rucker and 11-year-old Harrison Prickett, both students at Calhoun Academy, said they have enjoyed the dance and etiquette lessons.

"It was my choice to come here. I came here to learn to dance and meet new people," Rucker said. "My favorite dance that I've learned is probably the shag. It's just fun to do. I'm trying to get my mom to learn it, too."

Rucker said the etiquette lessons haven't fallen on deaf ears.

"I'm better at the table -- at the phone, not so much," he said. "It's fun to meet new people from other places instead of going to your own school and doing this with a lot of other people you know."

Prickett said he came into the classes knowing a lot of the etiquette.

"I knew I would probably need to know how to dance in college and high school," he added. "Whenever I come home, my mom always wants me to dance with her to make sure that I learned something."

Prickett said he will definitely encourage his 9-year-old brother to consider taking the classes. "He's probably going to need it, too," he said.

On Feb. 11, this year's ballroom dancing session culminated in a dinner at the Country Club of Orangeburg. McGee said class participants were required to RSVP for the event, which was held in the club's ballroom and featured dinner and dancing.

"We always have a theme for the dinner. Sometimes we do Valentine's, we've done Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day and then we had a red, white and blue theme in 2002, after 9-11," Barnwell said. "We have the dinner at the club, and the staff ... pick out a king and queen, and they judge on manners and on dancing and general behavior." The menu is in French, and place cards mark where, and with whom, the children dine.

"I go through course by course and explain the table setting, the utensils that you use, a bit about the food and how to eat it. They meet the chef and see what a real chef looks like," McGee added. "It's a real good experience. They love it, and they talk about it forever."

This year's event featured a Valentine's theme and six-course meal, which began with a crab cake appetizer followed by leek and potato soup, mandarin orange salad, raspberry sorbet, lemon chicken and Oreo cake. Students danced between courses.

"The club has been so gracious about having them out there," McGee said. "They've really done a great job. I think the dinner is a highlight. I think they all love that. They all remember what we've eaten."

Barnwell said the parents have been supportive of their efforts through the years. The pair also offers a two-week shag class and etiquette dinner for seventh graders.

"We just love to dance, and we just love the children," she said. "Everybody just blends in, everybody just gets along. It's just dancing ... they have fun."

McGee said the ballroom dancing class is an experience that is still worthwhile in today's society.

"This builds self-confidence, and it builds self-esteem, and they feel good about themselves," McGee said. "This is really the first time where they have had a social experience where they can dance.

"It has tended to be kind of like an expected thing, (parents) know that we're going to do it, it's just kind of a rite of passage, 'You're going to take ballroom dancing whether you want to or not.' And by that last night, they absolutely love it. ... I don't think we've ever had anybody who signed up that never came back.

"I think when they get out there and they're dancing, and they see their friends ... that's why we keep doing it. As long as we have students, then we'll keep doing it.

"I keep telling them manners will take you where your money won't. Manners are manners, and I think people do notice when you have them and when you don't."

T&D Features Editor Wendy Jeffcoat Crider can be reached by e-mail at wjeffcoat@timesanddemocrat.com or by telephone at 803-533-5546. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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