I know it's hard for most people to take an active, informed role in the workings of government on any level. If it comes down to a choice between reading the latest political news or making certain you've donated enough plasma to cover the cost of paying the water bill, day-to-day survival wins hands down.

But whenever I can squeeze in a little time between siphoning a few gallons from my neighbor's SUV and normal household chores, like waxing the cat, I like to watch C-SPAN.

It's true; I am a cable politics junkie. Watching our federal legislators make fools of themselves in a national forum is food for my black-hearted soul.

For my money, the committee hearings and full chamber meetings of the U.S. Senate and House beat out pro wrestling and "The Jerry Springer Show" for pure, unadulterated low-brow entertainment. Whether it's a filibustering senator trying to kill election contribution reform legislation or a bombastic Southern congressman shouting synonyms for "wastrel" at his opponent while thumbing through a dog-eared thesaurus, C-SPAN presents trailer-trash government at its best.

Just as other networks try to outdo each other with new programming, I can't help but wonder why C-SPAN should hold the monopoly on televised, prurient-interest politics. Having personally witnessed a South Carolina Senate speaker trying to garner the attention of several groups of legislators holding parking lot conversations while simultaneously cracking peanuts and throwing the shells on the carpet, I know the General Assembly should be on television. It just needs a little marketing nudge from someone like me.

Allow me to present the new State House television service, titled the South Carolina Institutional Network to Herald Official Legislation, or SINKHOL. The inaugural programming lineup would look something like this:

* House Ways & Means Committee session: Discussion over the state budget is sidetracked when a Lowcountry representative, angered over the omission of pork spending for a seafood museum in his district, bludgeons the committee chairman senseless with a family-size bag of prawns.

* Full Senate debate: A contentious roll-call vote over the awarding of a state contract to a new cellular carrier is unexpectedly halted when a member with a bullhorn, protesting the vote, begins drowning out the lieutenant governor with non-stop belching. Occasionally he shouts, "Can you hear me now?"

* Sign-off: Legislators' cocktail hour at California Dreaming. Better than feeding time at the zoo.

Selling the out-takes will also build up a budget surplus quickly and possibly spawn a first-ever S.C. ETV reality show. Now that's "Television Worth Watching."

T&D Staff Writer Phil Sarata can be reached by e-mail at psarata@timesanddemocrat.com or by phone at 803-533-5540.

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