Two of my friends and I are all celebrating traumatic birthdays that end in 0 this year -- 40, 50 and 60. Three guesses whose 0 will have a 6 in front of it when April 25 rolls around.

I didn’t really have a hard time with turning 40 or even 50, but there’s just something about realizing I’m going to be 60 in a little over a month that knocks the breath out of me. I cannot be 60. No way! Old people are 60. When did I get old?

The other day I heard a piece on NPR about North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, who was believed to have been seriously ill recently but has since recovered. The reporter, though, was talking about who would succeed him as president, prompting the host of the show to say she thought he had recovered and ask why all the talk about succession. The reporter, who sounded like he was under 30, responded that, after all, the North Korean leader was advanced in years –– 66.

What the ... !! Someone who’s about to turn 60 doesn’t want to hear that you’re considered to be on death’s door in your late 60s.

I still feel 40 on good days -- when my acid reflux isn’t flaring up and my arthritis isn’t making me feel like I’ve been trampled by a herd of elephants. I still enjoy wearing sneakers, T-shirts and jeans on my days off and listening to rock ‘n roll. I like Radiohead and even some hip hop. I belong to the Zany Ladies of the Divine Light of the Inner Realm Supper and Book Club, and we sometimes get a little rowdy at our gatherings, cackling like hens and throwing caution to the wind with a glass or two of Merlot. Do I sound like a 60-year-old?

I don’t know how someone who is 60 is suppose to act. Should I take up knitting? Should I wear polyester and orthopedic shoes? Should I start listening to Easy Listening tunes and watching re-runs of The Lawrence Welk Show? Lord, please take me now.

In the past, we’ve celebrated our birthdays with camping trips to the mountains, and we’ve been caught in blizzards on some of our April expeditions. But this year, our March birthday girl, who turns 50, will be feted with a party at a nice comfortable bar (I pray there won’t be any karaoke), and plans are being made for the gang to rent a beach house for my 60th (one bright spot in the economic downturn – rentals are reportedly a little cheaper).

Yep, I plan to make it a birthday to remember ... at least until the dementia kicks in.

T&D Region Editor Carol Barker can be reached by e-mail at cbarker@timesanddemocrat.com or by phone at 803-533-5525.

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