Betty Jean Ulmer McGregor of Hopkins is surprised by her newfound fame.

"I'm just an ordinary homemaker," she said. "This has all been quite overwhelming!"

The once stay-at-home mom was named South Carolina's Mother of the Year in February; received the state's highest civilian honor, the Order of the Palmetto, in April; and was named National Mother of the Year for American Mothers Inc. while representing the state during the group's annual conference April 22-25 in Portland, Ore.

The Cameron native said while at the conference, she attended seminars dealing with child issues and was one of 23 representatives asked to give a three-minute speech during the luncheon.

"We had to do a speech based on the question, 'How have you reaped what you have sown?'" she said. "The home is a garden, I believe. I did my speech in the form of a poem. It started out, 'Betty, Betty, South Carolina mother, how does your garden grow? With cockleshells and silver bells and pretty maids all in a row ... Oh, no!' From there, I went into personal things that occurred in our family life."

McGregor said she was overwhelmed when her name was called as this year's National Mother of the Year. It just so happens that the mother of five and grandmother of eight also celebrated her 79th birthday on April 24 while in Portland.

"I went to the convention to represent South Carolina and never expected to be in competition for the national title," she said.

McGregor said she will use this platform to enrich and strengthen family life and increase parenting skills through speaking engagements at churches, Parent-Teacher Organizations and other community groups she is invited to address.

"As parents, we need to demonstrate love and support in our home life in order for children to develop to their full potential mentally, physically, socially and spiritually," she said. "I see more and more fracturing of family life. We need mothers and fathers not to depend on organizations, schools and day care to teach moral and spiritual values. They need to learn these at home. Children repeat what they find at home."

Husband Sam McGregor said he accompanied his wife to Oregon thinking it would be her last event as S.C. Mother of the Year.

"It didn't even occur to me that she might be the 2009 American Mother until after all the speeches by the state mothers," he said in an e-mail. "I saw then that her personality, poise, humor, and her sincerity would probably rank her high in the judge's selection.

"Now that we have returned to our home and simple life in Hopkins, I am happy to find her the same sweet, dynamic lady and wonderful wife and mother that I have lived with for 58 years."

The McGregors reared five children: the Rev. Elizabeth Simmons, senior pastor at Davidson College Presbyterian Church; Jean Trice, a nurse/office manager; James McGregor, chief civil engineer and project manager for ExxonMobil; Dr. John McGregor, a professor/administrator at Clemson University; and the Rev. Sam McGregor Jr., pastor of Allison Creek Presbyterian Church.

"Mom set us on a path to pursue our own personal dreams and interest," John McGregor said via e-mail. "This could be one reason for the diversity of interest and talent that have been demonstrated by her kids."

"I have always attributed my contentment and happiness as an adult, mother and wife to the influence of my mother and father and the life I had growing up," Trice said in an e-mail. "(My mother is) a little fireball that speaks her mind, loves life, loves people, loves serving others, and loves her family unconditionally."

Betty McGregor has said she believes parenting means giving children roots and wings.

"Roots grow deep when parents demonstrate by example a deep faith in Christ and love and respect for one another," she said, adding that families develop deep bonds when they eat together and share the day's events.

In addition, she said she believes kids need to take on family responsibilities.

"Children need tasks in which they can succeed, thus enabling them to feel positive about themselves. They need to learn early financial responsibility through the handling of allowances," she said.

Growing up in a dairy-farm family, McGregor said there were plenty of opportunities for her children to learn responsibility: feeding baby calves, gardening, keeping farm records and operating machinery.

"As parents, we need to spend individual time with each child to listen to their opinions and questions so that they will know how important they are," she said. "Each child should feel special.

"Their wings are made strong when we encourage individual creativity and give them room to explore and develop their talents and interests. Above all, teach them by example to be compassionate, kind and respect the faith and culture of others."

James McGregor said he and his siblings learned that their "wings" were not given for their own success or wealth.

"We learned from her that God gives those gifts to serve others without regard for what you might reap in return," he said in an e-mail. "She has always been and still is a personal testimony to me in this regard ... 'serve others, with your greatest talents, willingly, and without any expectations of receiving anything in return AND in whatever place you find yourself.'"

Sam McGregor Jr. said he continues to see the impact his mom has had on his personal development.

"I am pursuing a doctorate and my Mom contacted me the other day to encourage me and tell me that she is proud of me," he said by e-mail. "She creates an environment where her children want to do well in life socially, morally, spiritually, and intellectually."

"I continue to be grateful particularly for the example which she and my father set for me in focusing me outward toward the needs of the world," Elizabeth McGregor said via e-mail. "Their core values were, and continue to be, an antidote to the rampant acquisitiveness and greed which have characterized recent decades in American culture and an expression of the truth of 'it is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Betty McGregor's co-pastor, the Rev. Robyn McMullen of Trinity Presbyterian Church in Columbia, said her congregation was not surprised by the National Mother of the Year pick.

"The people of Trinity have always known what a marvelous woman Betty is, and continue to experience her grace, warmth, wisdom and humor in the life and ministry of our church," she said via e-mail. "As this news was shared with our church family, the most repeated response I heard from others was 'it couldn't have been given to a more special person. She absolutely deserves this honor!'"

For now, McGregor will enjoy breakfast cooked daily by her husband, a ritual he has performed since his retirement.

"This has been quite an experience," she said. "As Sam would say, 'It's been a great ride!'"

T&D Correspondent Julie Campbell Sohm can be reached by e-mail at sohm23@embarqmail.com. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

My philosophy of parenting

My philosophy is based on factors involving my principles and experiences.

Children are a gift from God and we are given an opportunity to help them develop to their full potential -- mentally, physically, socially, morally.

Parenting means giving children roots and wings. Roots grow deep when parents demonstrate by example a deep faith in Christ and love and respect for one another. Life is not about having no problems, rather it is about how we deal with them.

Families develop bonds when they eat together and share the day's events, worship and play together, have family responsibilities, take advantage of education opportunities.

Children need tasks in which they succeed, thus enabling them to feel positive about themselves. They need to learn early financial responsibility through the handling of allowances.

As parents we need to spend individual time with each child, to listen to their opinions and questions, to let them know how important they are. Each child should feel special.

Their wings are made strong when we encourage individual creativity and give them room to explore and develop their talents and interests. Above all, teach them by example to be compassionate, kind, and respect the faith and culture of others.

-- By BETTY JEAN ULMER McGREGOR

From americanmothers.org

S.C.'s National Mothers

Four South Carolina mothers have been selected AMI National Mother of the Year. They are:

1958 -- Mrs. May Roper Coker of Hartsville

1983 -- Mrs. Clemmie Embly Webber of Orangeburg

1989 -- Mrs. Nancy Dinwiddie Hawk of Charleston

2009 -- Mrs. Betty Jean Ulmer McGregor of Hopkins

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