The computer can be a wonderful thing. Thanks to Facebook, I have been reunited with many friends I haven’t seen or heard from in years.

In short quips, I can keep in touch with what they are up to and how wonderful their kids are and vice versa. We can trade one-liners back and forth. What I am hoping for is for Facebook to come up with a “sarcasm font.” That would be lovely! Also, I need an “I’m laughing my behind off as I type this” font.

I admit that for a time I got hooked on the mind numbing thrill of farming via Facebook’s Farm Town. I could point and click on my farm to plow, plant and harvest. It was so easy, and in a day or two, my weed-free crops would be ready to harvest. There were never any deer to eat up all my profits or droughts to wither my crops. It was great, but a HUGE waste of my time when there were thousands of real chores that needed to get accomplished.

I fantasized I could invent a real computer program that when I pointed and clicked on my washing machine, a clean, folded pile of clothes would appear. Another click, and the pile would zoom into its respective bedroom closet or drawer. Click again, and all dust bunnies disappear. By a mere tap of the mouse, the kitchen would be restored to order, the magazines straightened, the windows washed, the beds made, the bathrooms spic-and-span, etc. I would be richer than Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey if I could invent that game.

While meeting with a group of neighborhood ladies, ranging in age from the mid 50s to the 80s, we happened upon the topic of the computer and all that could be done on it, IF you knew what you were doing. I laughed until my sides hurt as they regaled me with their attempts in using the computer. One nice lady in her 70s commented that she soon found out why they called it the cursor because she could not tell where the “blankety-blank” little blinking line was and where it would go using that mouse. One said she didn’t like the thought of touching a mouse and would rather die.

Sending e-mail for the first time proved too frustrating for one lady, so she just picked up the phone and called the friend she was trying to e-mail. She said she could never hear her machine “send” the e-mail, so she assumed it never went. She would retype and resend but she never heard it leave the computer. Her friend informed her she had received the e-mail two times already; she could stop e-mailing it.

I marvel at their tenacity and stick-to-itiveness at trying to learn new things and keeping up with modern technology. Some say they have “drag and drop” down pat –but in reality, not on the computer. One read from an e-mail in which a friend said she thought she herself might qualify for the Cash for Clunkers program. She said her headlights definitely didn’t focus. She had a hard time getting started in the mornings and typically ran rough until the afternoon. She had a leaky radiator hose, and she backfired when she laughed or coughed. She thought she could surely qualify!

Oh, the joys of getting older (sarcasm font)!

T&D Correspondent Julie Campbell Sohm can be reached by e-mail at sohm23@embarqmail.com. Discuss this and other stories online at TheTandD.com.

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