DALLAS -- It's often the little things -- sending thank you notes, firmly shaking hands or knowing your table manners -- that leave lasting impressions, etiquette experts advise.

"All of these things are so very basic, but they speak to who we are," said Joy Weaver, who specializes in corporate and social etiquette training.

Mastering the social graces will make you feel more confident, too, she said. Try these to smooth your way:

Business

Want to make a good impression when meeting someone? Pamela Eyring, president and director of The Protocol School of Washington in Washington, D.C., said dress professionally, including making sure clothing is age-appropriate. Men should keep their shoes polished, and women should have short, clean nails.

She said women should wear some makeup. "Just throw a little color on your face. That gives you an approachable look," Eyring said, adding that it also shows you didn't "just wake up and walk out the door."

"Introduce yourself by saying your name and shaking hands. And shake hands firmly -- men and women. It shows confidence. ... If you have a challenging name, say it slowly," she said.

Eyring said a trick to remember the name of someone you just met is to repeat it two or three times in conversation. And always have a business card to exchange.

Let people know meeting them is important. "Turn off your cell phone. You're meeting people now," she said.

Entertaining

Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, said being a good host starts with invitations. Whether it's an Evite or a mailed invitation, make sure you're providing all the pertinent information, including the who, what, when and where, along with RSVP information.

Post, a spokeswoman for The Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt., said if a host hasn't received a reply a few days to a week before the event, it's OK to give the guests a call to ask if they're coming. Guests, of course, should have been courteous by quickly replying.

A host should not only plan well, providing ample room and provisions, but also take time to talk to each guest.

Remaining calm is also a must -- even if the souffle collapses. "If everything goes wrong, order out for pizza and set out the picnic table outside. Run with it," Post said.

She said that "thank yous" aren't just for guests. Hosts should show their appreciation by thanking their guests for coming as they leave. And a host could even write thank you notes or call the next day, especially if a guest really enhanced the party.

"I think it's really great if the host makes the gesture right back," Post said.

She has a few tips for being a good guest, including showing up no more than 15 minutes late, offering to help and participating.

"If it's a small dinner party, really be a part of the conversation. If it's dancing, get on your dance shoes. No wallflowers and cool kids slouching in the corner," Post said.

Thank your host upon leaving and then by sending a note or making a call the next day.

Dining

From social to business situations, table manners are important, said Weaver, who's based in Dallas.

Don't announce you are going to the restroom, just get up and say "excuse me." Put your napkin on your chair to indicate you will return, place it on the table to the left of your plate to indicate you are leaving. And for goodness sake, don't apply makeup or brush your hair at the table, she said.

Rolls should be torn into pieces, buttering one piece at a time, although it's OK to butter a hot roll all at once, Weaver said.

If you're ordering off the menu, wait to eat until everyone has been served. Weaver's tip for remembering placement of your bread and water? BMW, bread to the left, meal in the center, water on the right.

As you're eating, keep elbows off the table. Your utensils should be placed in the "resting position" on your plate: the knife on the back of the plate, blade facing in, the fork resting on the plate with the tines pointed at 10 o'clock and the handle resting at 4 o'clock. When you finish, place the knife next to the fork, its blade facing the fork, she said.

As easy way to remember what utensil to use? Work from the outside in.

Much of the advice comes down to showing kindness and consideration. "It's just about taking the time to think about others," Post said.

Letitia Baldrige, a manners expert who was Jacqueline Kennedy's chief of staff and White House social secretary, said that at a party, guests and hosts should work to find people who look lonely and draw them in. If someone makes a mistake in conversation, saying something awkward that might embarrass someone else, take it upon yourself to change the subject.

"Etiquette is the frosting on the cake. Manners are how you deal with people," Baldrige said.

A simple smile, the experts said, can make a world of difference. "It's amazing what a smile can do," Weaver said.

You must be logged in to comment.